How to Fix Emotional Problems

fix-damaged-emotions

 

Self understanding and emotional problems

Why can’t most people figure out what they need to do in order to feel better?
Why can’t most people fix their own moods?

Few Days ago i was helping a friend feel better because she was severely depressed.

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Whenever i gave her an advice she nodded and said that i was right. But the important question you should have asked yourself is why didn’t my friend come up with such advice on her own?

 

Simply because most people have serious self understanding issues that prevent them from helping themselves. What do you usually do when your mobile phone signals low battery?

You simply charge it because you understood what the signal means. Emotional problems work the same way, as soon as one of them occurs your brain will send you a signal so that you react. Now the problem happens when lack of self understandingprevents you from understanding the meaning of the signal.

How to fix your emotional problems

In order to be able to fix your emotional problems you need to do the following:

  • 1) Learn what each signal means: When you get a bad emotion don’t panic but instead try to find out exactly what’s the purpose behind that emotion. As soon as you understand the purpose behind that specific emotion you will become aware of the action you need to take in order to get rid of it. Here is a very simple example, if you feel guilty then saying sorry can help you get rid of that guilt while doing anything else wont help. (see also How to get rid of bad emotions)
  • 2) Learn how to separate emotions apart: Because life is complex so as the human mind there is a great possibility that you will be experiencing more than one bad emotion at a time. Now the problem is that many people fail to describe their feelings when more than one bad emotion haunts them. For example at a given point you might be feeling stressed because of your work load, anxious about an upcoming event and sad because of something that happened few days ago. Learning how to isolate each emotion and understand it separately is one key element that will help you get rid of bad emotions
  • 3) Understand what really matters to you: Most people make the mistake of believing in the advice that others give them without really understanding what matters to them. Advice such as “don’t make a fuss out of nothing” or “just move on with your life” will do nothing but direct you away from what really matters to you. And because your mind wont stop sending you bad moods before you pursue what really matters to you then such advice will only lead to more bad moods.(see also The ultimate soloution to all life problems)
  • 4) MOVE!!: The purpose of any bad emotion you experience is to motivate you take an action. As long as you don’t take any actions the bad emotion will remain and it might even become stronger. Many people get this point wrong and start moving in the wrong direction. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that people who try quick fixes instead of real solutions always fail to get over their depression even though they take actions
  • 5) You need to change your outer world first: Whomever told you that you can be happy by fixing your thoughts or emotions was wrong. I bet you tried convincing yourself that you are good hundreds of times but that never worked simply because there are things in your outer world that your don’t like. If you want to become really happy then you need to change your outer world and these changes will certainly change your inner world. For example, if you don’t like your paycheck then find a way to earn more instead of convincing yourself that you can be happy with what you have.

 

One thing you can’t hide – is when you’re crippled inside.—Anonymous

 

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